WE are all proud of our multi-racial society – we hail our Kongsi-Raya and Deepa-Raya celebrations as unique Malaysian practices and boast how the Malays, Chinese, Indians and other ethnic groups live in harmony.
But living together in harmony is quite a different thing from living together in matrimony. While the former is a source of pride, the latter seems be a source of contention, most of the time.
Love conquers all: For young couple Nazruddin Rahman and wife Sheahnee, the ultimate thing in a mixed marriage is the acceptance of each other’s differences.
The issue of culture and religion often crop up in mixed marriages. Can couples from different races adjust to and accommodate each other’s cultures and beliefs?
Although inter-racial marriages are more common now than a generation ago, it is still a very sensitive topic among many Malaysians.
Young TV personality couple, Nazruddin Rahman and Sheahnee Iman Lee have been taking it all in their stride.
For Nazruddin (better known among friends and family as Naz) and Sheahnee their secret to happiness is total acceptance of each other’s differences and cultural background.
“When it comes to mixed marriages, we believe that acceptance is important.
“This is our second Hari Raya as husband and wife. We were married in July last year, so it was just nice to experience the fasting month and then Hari Raya immediately,” said a glowing Sheahnee who is four months pregnant.
“But this year is extra special as I’ve got a chance to witness Naz’s family tradition in their Raya preparations such as cleaning up the house. It is amazing how everyone is involved in taking out all the furniture! It has been a culture shock for me. And I am told that the family does this every year.”
Another surprise awaited Sheahnee on the first day of Hari Raya last year.
“I had always thought his family didn’t show much emotion like we do (in my family), but what I saw on that morning was really an eye-opener.
Naz revealed: “I told her what we would do on the first day of Raya, like salam your parents and family members and ask for their forgiveness. As she watched us doing it, however, she got excited.”
“It was a culture shock for me because for us Chinese New Year is a happy day for visiting family and friends. So when I watched Naz and his family having an emotional moment like that on Hari Raya, I was quite taken aback,” she said.
This year, Naz and Sheahnee will again spend Raya with Naz’s family in Kampung Baru, Kuala Lumpur where they reside.
Sheahnee who is of Chinese and Australian parentage said that she has enjoyed breaking fast with the family as it is very meaningful.”
Fasting is not something new to Sheahnee who studied Islam on her own five years ago.
“I studied it as I was curious about the religion. I was reading a lot of books about religion and comparing them. Through my Muslim friends I attended a class conducted by an ustazah.
“I guess at that time I was searching for some answers. I used to fast with my Muslim friends during the fasting month and through them I learnt the finer points of Islam,” explained the 30-year-old who reads news on 7 Edition.
The couple agrees that differences are aplenty when it comes to their backgrounds, but the key has been in accepting each other.
“At face value, Naz comes across as a funny guy, but deep down he is a good Malay man, conservative in a nice way and very family-oriented. I was brought up in a more open-minded way in terms of expressing feelings.”
Naz offered: “I believe both our families have adapted well. Sheahnee blends in nicely with my family. Since the early days of our friendship, we were both very accepting of our cultural differences.”
The couple first met through a mutual friend in 2006 before they started co-hosting Breakfast Show together on NTV7.
For Naz, who had been hosting various shows for eight years prior to that, it was mind-blowing to meet Sheahnee on the set. The chemistry, he claims, was obvious from the get go.
“It was very rare for me to meet a new partner in my hosting job who just clicked right away. She could finish off my sentences when I was half-way through them. It was really amazing.
“We used to get a lot of comments on our on-screen chemistry ... at that time we were just dating casually.”
According to the couple, the most nerve-wracking experience was when Naz, 31, decided to tell Sheahnee’s parents about their courtship.
“I said to Sheahnee’s parents that even though she would be converting to Islam she is still very much Chinese and conversion had nothing to do with her ‘becoming a Malay’. She is still a Chinese girl and I assured them that nothing had changed.
“I was very nervous. It took me over an hour of beating around-the-bush to ask for her hand in marriage until her mother asked me ‘So what is it that you really want, Naz?’” recalled Naz, laughing.
“I guess Naz did a good job in allaying their fears about me converting to Islam. In fact, my parents were impressed with him and at the end of that meeting they told him ‘Welcome to the family, son,’” quipped Sheahnee.
“In a nutshell, marrying Sheahnee, and now that we are expecting our child, these are the two best things in my life. They have helped me to stay focused, and drive me to achieve more.”
While others may be looking forward to feasting and merriment at Raya, Naz and Sheahnee say they are more excited about the new upcoming new addition to the family.
Naz said: “It will be nice to spend the holidays with the family, but we’re more excited about the baby at the moment!”
By AZHARIAH KAMIN
The Star Lifestyle
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